Dammit, I Need Answers! May 26, 2009
Posted by kungfufool in Uncategorized.1 comment so far
When writing a comment on the great and powerful Henceblog, I wondered (aloud) if naked dry-humping is still dry-humping or something else. Like I always do (and could very well be the reason why I am very much alone in this world), I asked the Internet instead of an actual human being. Needless to say, I got an answer. More specifically, a Yahoo! Answer.
Click to expand
Needless to say, this question was much more interesting than the answers. I actually forgot for a moment how wonderful of a time waster Yahoo! Answers was. For tech/hardware solutions its a reliable resource. It has held my hand through many a BSOD. It has taught me how to play high-end games on my pitiful home PC. It opened it’s arms, embraced me, and let me blow my nose and wipe my wet eyes on its shirt, when I busted the case of my beloved Macbook. Unfortunately, it is also a reminder of how poor our education system is. I don’t see a single comma in that bitch.
Back Home and Distracted May 20, 2009
Posted by kungfufool in Uncategorized.1 comment so far
While trying to get some catch-up sleep from the very last semester of the College of Santa Fe (R.I.P.), I’ve been trying my best to keep busy. However, I’m trying to find a job, trying to add sound to my animation (the hardest thing I’ve ever done), trying to finish the screenplay I’ve been working on for school, trying to figure out financial aid stuff with my new school, yet I find myself completely wasting my time.
The number one distraction: Facebook.
I never really checked this site during school, but because I miss my college friends, and because I’m an incredibly lonely individual, I’ve spent hours meandering through the god damn facebook. I found myself figuring answers for Pick Five:
The only problem is that there aren’t a lot of Pick Five lists that warrant a nonsense response and the ones that do don’t have great responses. Ah well.
Also there’s this game Scramble, where you are given a board of tiles and you have to link letters, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally to make words. I can’t get past 67 points. By the summer, I intend to beat Robin’s 118 points, just so I can feel pretty good about myself. Sadly, I am learning more words by stumbling onto them in the game instead of, you know, knowing words before I go into it. I need to read more.
A Quoi Ca Sert L’Amour May 10, 2009
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by Louis Clichy (via Drawn)
Work, the Killdozer, and You April 29, 2009
Posted by kungfufool in Uncategorized.Tags: FlatTop, Junot Diaz, kidz bop, Killdozer, Marvin Heemeyer
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Earlier in the summer, me and my friends were at an Evanston restaurant, named FlatTop, an Asian fusion place. The 
food there is good, and they do this thing where you leave your order with your name on the stick and they come back to you with your food. A couple of my friends work at a restaurant where some of the staff at FlatTop hold their second jobs. They play this contest where they try to write or draw “balls” or “penis” on each other’s food, or sometimes just point at their genitals when in each other’s eyelines. When they got there food back, one of my friends got “balls” in his food. We all had a laugh.
I secretly desired having this type of relationship with somebody I worked with. I have never held a paying job and only once made money off a service I provided. When volunteering at a Habitat for Humanity ReStore, I got a ten dollar tip for helping a Mexican immigrant with two small children move a dented sink into his old van. I tried refusing it, but the man insisted. After some awkward smiles and hand waving, I accepted. I still regret taking it. I regret spending the money on mini-golf and a slushee even more, but then again, the local arcade needed the patronage. Nobody went, probably because the games sucked and the glow-in-the-dark mini-golf course carried the potential for rape*.
I am reminded of this, because a couple of months ago, I went to a Lannan reading given by the fantastic Junot Diaz (already mentioned here). In his Q&A he brought up the concept of “work,” which many young writer’s avoid in their writing as effectively as the actual thing. While my short fiction and this blog are mainly based around work and working, I nearly cried when I realized that I still haven’t recieved a paycheck. I wished I was like my friends in Illinois, calling out co-worker’s names and pointing at my nuts.
This brings me back to that night at FlatTop. My friend was talking about the Killdozer. Long story short, Marvin Heemeyer, a Travis Bickle-type, gets screwed by the man and evicted. In frustration, he declared “Sometimes reasonable men must do unreasonable things.” And did he do something unreasonable:
He poured concrete on a bulldozer and drove it around.
Oh God! April 28, 2009
Posted by kungfufool in Projects, Uncategorized.2 comments
Another faux Lichtenstein. If he saw that I was vaguely jacking his style to make crummy art he would strangle me with a violin string. But he’s dead, rest his soul. So I’m going to continue using his style to learn PhotoShop. From Tough Guys Don’t Dance, written and directed by Norman Mailer:
A Little Photoshop Thing April 26, 2009
Posted by kungfufool in Projects.Tags: Photoshop, The Room, Tommy Wiseau
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When I got frustrated on my animation (going nowhere), I got frustrated doing something else. This is going back to the last post. It’s a Lichtenstein-esque Photoshop of Tommy Wiseau. It’s really, really crappy, but I mean…come on. I’m learning.
You can find a tutorial for the process here.
Caught You Creepin’ April 24, 2009
Posted by kungfufool in Other People's Projects.Tags: cheatin', Little Brother, New Age, Put it Down, romance, Sex, The Dream, The Room, Tommy Wiseau
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This week, from some, perhaps cosmic, force, I have been completely inundated with romance. Not on a personal level, but worse–the cultural. If the New Age simplification of quantum mechanics is supposed to believe, it is operating on both. My need for some kind of significant other is manifesting itself in the ugly and wierd interpretation of romance I have been seeing in the American media. It’s also probably in my water (which if frozen, probably looks like the broken faces of orphaned children when put under a microscope). My frustrations are also propogating the Sri Lankan civil war.
But anyways: love, that quality that bad poets insist on writing about, that thing TV-
referencing college kids breaking twenty say couldn’t possibly exist because they know so goddamn much, has been forcing itself upon me like a drunk football player. It comes (hurhur) notably in the form of The Dream, who Ronald Metellus, has introduced me to and that wonderful fucking movie The Room. The Dream, sculptor, painter, songwriter, lover… I have listened to his song “Put it Down”, a love song with a title Gene Shalit would have had a field day with, probably ten times this last few days.
Its not good. In fact, it kind of sucks, but my God it’s catchy. It’s also sublimely cavalier:
O baby stop whatcha doing
And bring your little body up up in this bed
Have you ever had somebody
Do it to you while they were
playing in your hair
You want it from the front or the back
On your side just relax
And let me lay between your legs
I see ya running like a track meet
With your baton saying catch me
Baby don’t be scared (don’t be scared)
These are important questions. (more after the jump) (more…)
The Wonderful World of Meth April 20, 2009
Posted by kungfufool in Uncategorized.Tags: Breaking Bad, Cory Doctorow, meth, Stephen Leavitt, Stranglehold
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I remember reading this article, written by Cory Doctorow, which might interest all you writerly types (actually all of you, since only a few people actually know about this blog and all are writerly types). His highly acclaimed young adult novel, Little Brother, came out last year and I have been meaning to read it. You can download it off his site, but its really, really weird reading a book on a screen. The book sounds interesting, tapping into that Bush-era paranoia (that I refuse to get over) and putting that suspicion and mistrust in government into the heads of kids (which I am all for). It’s kind of like this: 
In the article Doctorow talks about research, and how its a huge distraction from the writing process. And it is. Researching while writing a creative piece really only leads to more researching. Ninety percent of the trivia I compiled is from being distracted while trying to write something. Which brings me to a project I have undertaken for school–a feature-length screenplay. I won’t go into the details of the story, but I am currently three pages under the quota for my screenwriting class tomorrow and I am at an impasse. Needless to say, I wasted much of the time looking shit up. Gang crime in Chicago. Credit fraud. Embezzlement. Cantonese slang. And meth.
Meth has consumed me. (more…)
Looking For Ashley April 18, 2009
Posted by kungfufool in Uncategorized.Tags: ashley anderson, Chris Brown, detective, Freeze, ladybug, Rihanna, T-Pain
2 comments
Earlier tonight, I looked out of my Santa Fe dorm room and upon seeing the depressing springtime snowfall, realized that I should be listening to T-Pain. So I went to YouTube, looked up the AutoTune maestro himself and put on “Freeze” off his album Three Ringz–the one with Rihanna-abuser Chris Brown. The two (not Rihanna, she isn’t in the video) dance around and sing about their surprise that you would try to dance like them. At key points, they announce that they are going to freeze, and advise you to do the same. Also, it turns out that Chris Brown is only a few months younger than me. To this I ask, what the hell? Where is my record deal? Where are my famous-ass friends? My empty, but pulpy, romances? I digress.
So I was watching the video, and reading the proudly inane comments. It never ceases to amaze me how, on the YouTube boards, racial and homophobic epithets get tossed around like JuJu Beans at a middle school dance. Or how everybody insist on writing without plural. But anyways, I stumbled upon this comment:
ladybug102894 (3 hours ago)
hey what’s up i am looking for a girl named ashley anderson do you know who she is?
(More after the jump)
He Runs, Dammit! April 18, 2009
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Click after the break to see the man run.
