Dammit, I Need Answers!

When writing a comment on the great and powerful Henceblog, I wondered (aloud) if naked dry-humping is still dry-humping or something else. Like I always do (and could very well be the reason why I am very much alone in this world), I asked the Internet instead of an actual human being. Needless to say, I got an answer. More specifically, a Yahoo! Answer.

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Needless to say, this question was much more interesting than the answers. I actually forgot for a moment how wonderful of a time waster Yahoo! Answers was. For tech/hardware solutions its a reliable resource. It has held my hand through many a BSOD. It has taught me how to play high-end games on my pitiful home PC. It opened it’s arms, embraced me, and let me blow my nose and wipe my wet eyes on its shirt, when I busted the case of my beloved Macbook. Unfortunately, it is also a reminder of how poor our education system is. I don’t see a single comma in that bitch.

Unlike venues such as YouTube, where criticisms of video content and are buried underneath other people’s arguments, juvenile asides, racism, and protests of other internet users alleged mental disabilities, people on Yahoo! Answers actually do what is asked of them. They answer your question. This makes me wonder. No question I have ever searched has not had an answer. Everybody is helpful, few give poor advice or wrong information. So, while I had to search “naked dry-humping” to see if there were more appropriate synonyms, do people actually look through the forums, look to see what they were experts at, and answer the question, to simply answer them. Yes you will, you say. That’s the whole point.

It’s weird as hell. Say I am an expert at something. Let’s say something I often experience, like staring at a blank space in the wall and feeling passing emotions of fear and sadness. If someone asks something about it, like why-am-i-experiencing-this-oh-my-god-someone-as-paranoid-as-me-plz-answer, I’m not going to post. I would probably read it to see that I am not alone, but come on. I’m not that desperate to feel like an expert.

But I suppose its better to have these inane questions answered than letting them fester in one’s head. Take for example this one question, “I’m in love with this guy, and he’s my best friend for life’s brother…what should I do?” It’s followed up a minute or two later with “HELP ME!!!!!I’m in love with this guy, and he’s my best friend for life’s brother…what should I do?!?!?!?!?!?”.

I can only imagine the emotional turmoil this poor girl is experiencing. Her best friend for life…his brother…Holy shit.

There’s some more great stuff, if you do a little random clicking. I’m especially proud of finding this gem.

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